MarriedGodGirl

I was recently asked to speak at a homeless shelter. I'm always excited to have a chance to share the gospel or preach the word. I was a little concerned  however, on what I would speak on. Larry and I had a brief moment in life when we were homeless. A house that we were renting went into foreclosure and one day a sheriff was at our door telling us we had to be out in 2 hours. Now, I'm blessed to have a great family and friends that lived in the same town. A good friend let us use his storage - we stayed with family so never without a roof over our heads. So that wasn't entirely the same thing..  Plus some people are homeless because they choose that. They like having no responsibility at all and they choose that way of life. Others are homeless due to job loss, drugs, mental illness, veterans with post traumatic stress disorder etc. I was in prayer one morning and I was seeking the Lord about this. And I heard the Spirit say, "why don't you speak on your strugg...

Last night at church we had a Praise and Worship service. I love love love worship nights like this.  I'm more of a worshiper so I really enjoy those songs where I can block everyone out and get on my face before God. Praise songs are fabulous but after a few of them I'm ready to get into the Holy of Holies to see what my God has for me. At one of my former churches we used to have Friday night worship services every week and it always amazed me the tangible presence of God that would be in the air. You could feel the presence of God. The Word says that God inhabits the praises of his people. (Psalm 22:3) One thing i should mention. During the time of worship I told the Lord - you know what Lord? Whatever you want to do. Not my will but yours and I'm surrendered  to you. If you want me to go this way I will go this way etc. I am yours Lord. Something happens when you truly come to that place of surrender. Anyway, last night was amazing, and what the Lord showed m...

For those of you who have been reading my blog and following along - some of this will be familiar as I spoke a little about it in my first blog. I was 24 when I found out I was pregnant.  I would love to be able to say that we were in love and it was an accident, but at that point it my life my getting pregnant was just another mistake to add to my very long list. His life however, was not a mistake. God has a plan for him just like he has a plan for each of us. My car had died, and my life was unraveling. I had no money and was in a mess! You know, abuse changes you I don't know how else to say it.  It makes you temporarily insane and it takes the healing power of God to make you whole again. I was out making my way in the world using the skill I knew best. I believe that the devil has a counterfeit life for you. Just like he has a counterfeit for everything else God has. And I was living the devil's will for my life truly believing that was all I was good for.  Not a...

For most of my life I have lived with fear. My mom struggled with fear and I'm sure all of the abuse I had as a child didn't help me any. But I was afraid of the dark, afraid of being kidnapped, afraid of snakes, etc etc When I was in elementary school I was so scared especially at a new school to get up and go the bathroom that I would hold it for an extreme period of times and sometimes not make it to the bathroom. I thought it was just normal that everyone had fear of some sort. And then in my early 20's I heard a teaching on the spirit of fear and my eyes were opened! I didn't have to live my live in fear. I went up for prayer and they got rid of that tormenting spirit. And you know what?? It is a TORMENTING devil!  And for the first time in my life I experienced a level of freedom. I learned I didn't have to live with being afraid. Not that I wasn't tempted to be afraid but it is okay to feel fear and not let it control you. It's natural if someone jum...

Today started a new phase in my marriage as Larry drove back to live in Florida without me. And even though it is temporary I find myself living alone in Atlanta tonight. The place I hate and do not want to be! Funny how God works sometimes. Who knows, maybe after this season is over I will have a love for my new home that comes out of a newness from God. Larry and I are not separating or having any marital problems but his nanny is moving to heaven and needs full time care. His mom and uncle have been the primary care takers but both were exhausted and after our last visit there Larry and I both felt like he was to be with them to help.  So he transferred back to Publix in Florida and will be there for the next 2-3 months. Hopefully not much longer but I know God has a plan in this. I took his moving really hard up until today. That is what I wanted to write to you about. I always want to be transparent. No one has ever arrived and Christianity is always about learning and growi...

It's been awhile since I last blogged.. in fact, I had to go back and read my last blog to figure out where to start today. What I don't want to do is a fake blog. My life is not perfect, I'm not perfect, I'm nowhere near ready to say I've arrived. And I don't want to just post when life is wonderful. Since I last blogged my grandfather moved to heaven.  Honestly, I've been with a few family members when they moved to heaven and by far this was the most peaceful I've ever experienced, My grandfather was 93 years old. And there wasn't anything wrong with him; he just decided he was done. He started refusing food and the process moved on from there. He ended up going to sleep and from there made the transfer to heaven. I did learn a fun fact about my grandfather. We were having a discussion about dying and I remarked as I have for years that I'm going in the rapture. And my grandmother looked at me and said, "that is what your grandfather alwa...

I read a friend of mine's Facebook status of the day today and thought, "that is a good one. I think I will use that too." It was on forgiveness. And as I was trying to relax and soak in the tub I started talking to the Lord about forgiveness and alas out came this blog. I had to rush out of the tub to write because it was coming out and I was concerned I would forget it or miss something good that God was giving me.  Funny right? I started thinking about the time I truly felt forgiveness.  Now anytime I ask God to forgive me of something stupid I've done I know He has because I've asked.  Several years ago, in fact, I was 24 at the time. I had recently given birth to a boy and given him up for adoption. I was pretty much raised in church and knew that having sex outside of marriage was sin but even more so to have had a child out of wedlock was bad.  I had already repented before the Lord and God really saw me through the adoption more than I had ever dreamed p...