Larry is moving back to Florida
Today started a new phase in my marriage as Larry drove back to live in Florida without me. And even though it is temporary I find myself living alone in Atlanta tonight. The place I hate and do not want to be! Funny how God works sometimes. Who knows, maybe after this season is over I will have a love for my new home that comes out of a newness from God. Larry and I are not separating or having any marital problems but his nanny is moving to heaven and needs full time care. His mom and uncle have been the primary care takers but both were exhausted and after our last visit there Larry and I both felt like he was to be with them to help. So he transferred back to Publix in Florida and will be there for the next 2-3 months. Hopefully not much longer but I know God has a plan in this.
I took his moving really hard up until today. That is what I wanted to write to you about. I always want to be transparent. No one has ever arrived and Christianity is always about learning and growing in Christ. There are valley seasons and mountain seasons. Larry and I moved up here a little over 2 years ago. And still I have no good friends and I was dreading him leaving because Larry and I do everything together. He is my best friend. So this morning during worship I am crying and talking to God about Larry leaving me and etc. etc. And I hear God say, " how is this different than your move to Texas?" You see after my first marriage failed the Lord sent me to Texas to work for Kenneth Copeland Ministries. I was brokenhearted, beat up spiritually, emotionally and mentally. And God sent me there to be healed and whole. But even in my broken state I knew I had to get involved in the church and start making friends. I didn't know a single person when I first moved up there and it was one of the best experiences I have ever had. There is so much love in that place! God healed me, freed me and gave me great friends that I have even today. So the Lord got my attention when He said, "How is this different..." I knew immediately why this was different and then I cried for a new reason. You see I haven't really gotten involved like I normally would at any other church. I realized that I have been hurt previously in other churches and I was letting that fear and offense keep me from jumping in with both feet. I forgot to trust God - I forgot that I am His and it is His will that I seek - not mine.
There is also something else that God spoke to me about. Larry has become my rock. If Larry didn't want to do something than I didn't either and I allowed that to feed my insecurity of going to the church when I should have gone. See my walk is separate from Larry's. I can't rely on his anointing or his convictions. I have to walk out mine. I have to be obedient to the gifting and ministries that I have within me even when that doesn't coincide with my husbands gifting. God may want Larry to teach a class and me hold babies in the nursery and pray over them. We serve God together but sometimes in different capacities. God has a plan for my life, Larry's life and those are separate but joined into one. Does that make sense? Don't misunderstand me, it's good that Larry and I are one but that can't get in between me and God. God needs to be my first love. God needs to be my rock and my everything. And with new eyes I looked at the season before me. One in which I get the opportunity to love my savior and to fall in love with Him again. To minister to Him and Him alone in this season. He has given me a gift that I couldn't see before. I know that great things are going to come out of this season and I'm excited for what God has for me. I know some healing needs to take place and even some deliverance. But BRING IT ON!
I want to leave you with a song. This song so ministered to me in church this am. I also will post the link to today's message - it was on offense. I was set up by God to get revelation this morning and it was good!
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=FMM22FNU
I took his moving really hard up until today. That is what I wanted to write to you about. I always want to be transparent. No one has ever arrived and Christianity is always about learning and growing in Christ. There are valley seasons and mountain seasons. Larry and I moved up here a little over 2 years ago. And still I have no good friends and I was dreading him leaving because Larry and I do everything together. He is my best friend. So this morning during worship I am crying and talking to God about Larry leaving me and etc. etc. And I hear God say, " how is this different than your move to Texas?" You see after my first marriage failed the Lord sent me to Texas to work for Kenneth Copeland Ministries. I was brokenhearted, beat up spiritually, emotionally and mentally. And God sent me there to be healed and whole. But even in my broken state I knew I had to get involved in the church and start making friends. I didn't know a single person when I first moved up there and it was one of the best experiences I have ever had. There is so much love in that place! God healed me, freed me and gave me great friends that I have even today. So the Lord got my attention when He said, "How is this different..." I knew immediately why this was different and then I cried for a new reason. You see I haven't really gotten involved like I normally would at any other church. I realized that I have been hurt previously in other churches and I was letting that fear and offense keep me from jumping in with both feet. I forgot to trust God - I forgot that I am His and it is His will that I seek - not mine.
There is also something else that God spoke to me about. Larry has become my rock. If Larry didn't want to do something than I didn't either and I allowed that to feed my insecurity of going to the church when I should have gone. See my walk is separate from Larry's. I can't rely on his anointing or his convictions. I have to walk out mine. I have to be obedient to the gifting and ministries that I have within me even when that doesn't coincide with my husbands gifting. God may want Larry to teach a class and me hold babies in the nursery and pray over them. We serve God together but sometimes in different capacities. God has a plan for my life, Larry's life and those are separate but joined into one. Does that make sense? Don't misunderstand me, it's good that Larry and I are one but that can't get in between me and God. God needs to be my first love. God needs to be my rock and my everything. And with new eyes I looked at the season before me. One in which I get the opportunity to love my savior and to fall in love with Him again. To minister to Him and Him alone in this season. He has given me a gift that I couldn't see before. I know that great things are going to come out of this season and I'm excited for what God has for me. I know some healing needs to take place and even some deliverance. But BRING IT ON!
I want to leave you with a song. This song so ministered to me in church this am. I also will post the link to today's message - it was on offense. I was set up by God to get revelation this morning and it was good!
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=FMM22FNU
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