MarriedGodGirl

For those of you who have been reading my blog and following along - some of this will be familiar as I spoke a little about it in my first blog. I was 24 when I found out I was pregnant.  I would love to be able to say that we were in love and it was an accident, but at that point it my life my getting pregnant was just another mistake to add to my very long list. His life however, was not a mistake. God has a plan for him just like he has a plan for each of us. My car had died, and my life was unraveling. I had no money and was in a mess! You know, abuse changes you I don't know how else to say it.  It makes you temporarily insane and it takes the healing power of God to make you whole again. I was out making my way in the world using the skill I knew best. I believe that the devil has a counterfeit life for you. Just like he has a counterfeit for everything else God has. And I was living the devil's will for my life truly believing that was all I was good for.  Not a...

For most of my life I have lived with fear. My mom struggled with fear and I'm sure all of the abuse I had as a child didn't help me any. But I was afraid of the dark, afraid of being kidnapped, afraid of snakes, etc etc When I was in elementary school I was so scared especially at a new school to get up and go the bathroom that I would hold it for an extreme period of times and sometimes not make it to the bathroom. I thought it was just normal that everyone had fear of some sort. And then in my early 20's I heard a teaching on the spirit of fear and my eyes were opened! I didn't have to live my live in fear. I went up for prayer and they got rid of that tormenting spirit. And you know what?? It is a TORMENTING devil!  And for the first time in my life I experienced a level of freedom. I learned I didn't have to live with being afraid. Not that I wasn't tempted to be afraid but it is okay to feel fear and not let it control you. It's natural if someone jum...

Today started a new phase in my marriage as Larry drove back to live in Florida without me. And even though it is temporary I find myself living alone in Atlanta tonight. The place I hate and do not want to be! Funny how God works sometimes. Who knows, maybe after this season is over I will have a love for my new home that comes out of a newness from God. Larry and I are not separating or having any marital problems but his nanny is moving to heaven and needs full time care. His mom and uncle have been the primary care takers but both were exhausted and after our last visit there Larry and I both felt like he was to be with them to help.  So he transferred back to Publix in Florida and will be there for the next 2-3 months. Hopefully not much longer but I know God has a plan in this. I took his moving really hard up until today. That is what I wanted to write to you about. I always want to be transparent. No one has ever arrived and Christianity is always about learning and growi...

It's been awhile since I last blogged.. in fact, I had to go back and read my last blog to figure out where to start today. What I don't want to do is a fake blog. My life is not perfect, I'm not perfect, I'm nowhere near ready to say I've arrived. And I don't want to just post when life is wonderful. Since I last blogged my grandfather moved to heaven.  Honestly, I've been with a few family members when they moved to heaven and by far this was the most peaceful I've ever experienced, My grandfather was 93 years old. And there wasn't anything wrong with him; he just decided he was done. He started refusing food and the process moved on from there. He ended up going to sleep and from there made the transfer to heaven. I did learn a fun fact about my grandfather. We were having a discussion about dying and I remarked as I have for years that I'm going in the rapture. And my grandmother looked at me and said, "that is what your grandfather alwa...

I read a friend of mine's Facebook status of the day today and thought, "that is a good one. I think I will use that too." It was on forgiveness. And as I was trying to relax and soak in the tub I started talking to the Lord about forgiveness and alas out came this blog. I had to rush out of the tub to write because it was coming out and I was concerned I would forget it or miss something good that God was giving me.  Funny right? I started thinking about the time I truly felt forgiveness.  Now anytime I ask God to forgive me of something stupid I've done I know He has because I've asked.  Several years ago, in fact, I was 24 at the time. I had recently given birth to a boy and given him up for adoption. I was pretty much raised in church and knew that having sex outside of marriage was sin but even more so to have had a child out of wedlock was bad.  I had already repented before the Lord and God really saw me through the adoption more than I had ever dreamed p...

Last night I had a dream. I dreamed that I was having an affair on my husband. I'm not having an affair - I didn't recognize the person in the dream but I also didn't wake up blowing it off and saying that could never happen. It could - it does happen all the time. See I know who my enemy is.  And not only that - I know who my old man was.  I cursed that dream and applied the blood of Jesus over my marriage. The devil hates marriages. Especially Godly ones. They cause fear in him because he knows the power a couple has that come together in prayer. There is such a strong delusion over America about marriage. It is so much more than a piece of paper. It is a holy covenant before God. It is the strongest union on earth. The bible says a three fold cord cannot be broken- and that one sends a thousand demons to flight but two can send tens of thousands demons to flight. (Deut. 30: 30) We must recognize that the devil is out to destroy your marriage. I know two women - both we...

I've learned in my 43 years that life happens, people we love die, people we love hurt us, betray us, etc. I used to believe that God was punishing me for every bad thing that happened. If I did something I knew was wrong I was looking around the corner for something bad to happen because I had to reap what I had sown.  I don't believe that anymore. Yes, there are consequences for your actions that is a spiritual or natural law but it's not God looking to zap me or you.  God never promised that because I became a Christian that life was going to be all dancing through the tulips. In fact,  He said when troubles come count it as all joy (I'm not quite there yet)  And you know what? It rains on the just and the unjust. We were recently robbed - horrible feeling actually. But honestly I was more mad than anything else - not really even at the people who robbed us - okay a little. But I was angry at the devil - behind every sin there is a presence of darkness. Those gu...